Some Techniques for African Mothers

Yesterday was Mother’s Day in the UK, and I did not want to share Mother’s Day messages without taking time to listing some ways through which African mothers can assist their children in becoming better persons. Kindly share any tips you may have in the comment page.

Mothering is not a one-size fit all process, and it certainly does not go by rules. However, there are simple things African mothers can do to help their children grow wisely and contribute to the societies in which they are immersed.

1)     African Mothers should stop flogging and scolding their children on petty things. Scolding a child for mistakenly breaking a glass is foolish because no amount of scolding would help repair the glass. Instead, kindly illustrate to the child what he or she can do to better handle the glass so that next time, he would prevent such accidents. Also, explain to your child very lovingly that the broken pieces may hurt him, and he certainly does not want to be in pain. Flogging a child and screaming insults at him or her demonstrates your inability to handle things when they are broken. The huge problem to me is that children pick up these parenting approach of flogging and scolding; with the thought that it is the ideal method to handle children. Consequently, we (Africans) end up in an African parenting cycle of flogging and beating children unnecessarily.

2)     Treat your children with love. Show concern when any child brings a problem to you-don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, “that would go away.” Yes, it would go away, but your concern to his or her problem could help him or her understand that someone cares. By showing concern to their worries which may sometimes, overwhelm you, you indirectly teach them how to care. Remember that someday, you will need their love and care and if you don’t treat them better, how do you expect them to reciprocate love to you when you are older?

3)     Spend some time with the kids. These moments are to die moments because they are irretrievable. I have a routine of hugging my little girl each morning; giving her so many kisses and cuddles for an ideal start of the day. She’s growing quite tall and I miss those days she used to fit just perfectly in my arms for a little morning cuddle. That’s to say, children grow up so fast. Don’t miss on those shows of affection which bring pleasant memories.

4)     Most importantly, read a book a day to your child.  It takes approximately 5 minutes to complete a children’s book with your child. It’s so fun depending on how you read it. For more on how to read and the benefits of reading to your children: request the book “Raising Brilliant Kids” by Delphine, G.N. using the email address info@beveen.com. The book provides in-depth material on the advantages of giving your children an ideal start.

5)     If you have older children, try to find what is of interest to them, work with them to achieve their goals. Don’t sit in the living room and ask them to go, and read a book. Take five minutes to see for yourself what they learned at school. Encourage them to work more on the things they love. Not every child sure loves a book, but every parent can encourage a child to love at least one book a life time. Books are full of hidden gems. If you show interest in them, children would. The mantra in my house is, “Watch less TV, read more books.

6)     Speak life unto your children. Blessed is the mouth that blesses than the mouth that curses. Don’t stop blessing the children who surround your quotidian space, give them big hugs. Lift them up if they do something amazing. Praise them!!!  It would boost their confidence beyond measure. Sing their praises and don’t go around complaining about their behaviours. Instead, find means through which you can work with them on improving their attitudes. Never bring your children down, but seek ways to always lift them up.

7)     This is my best. NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CHILDREN-NEVER. Explore all possible approaches to help them. They may become wayward sometimes, but giving up on them is like a gardener who gives up on his garden of flowers, and when they flowers bloom amidst weed, the gardener goes looking for means to harvest the flowers.

8)     Always pray for them-don’t spend time covering them with the blood of Jesus for they are already covered, but spend time praying for the Almighty to rain down blessings on them.

Mothering is no easy job, take time off every day, and count your blessings!!!

  Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Copyrights: Delphine Ngehndab